Intoxicated Avenger

The intoxicated part actually occurs after the game, but I just wanted to make sure everyone’s paying attention. This is also my new Indian name.

Are we all here? Great. Then let’s begin, shall we?

I think someone once said that revenge is best served in a frosted martini glass with Absolut Mango and freshly squeezed essence of citrus… errrr something like that.

We were facing Sweet Sassy Molasses for the first time this season. A rivalry of epic proportions, equaling that of say, The Red Sox and Yankees, spanning years and years of contempt and disdain … uh, wait ... Not really, it actually originated just last year when we blew an 11-zip lead in the 6th inning and were defeated by the team with the androgynous pitcher… Is he? Isn’t she?

So anyway. It’s a new-fangled season. We’ve been practicing. Improving. Honing our skills. We’re bigger. Stronger. Faster. The bionic Outlaws.

On offense, our bats—EXPLOSIVE. (The Yanks have Teixeira. The Outlaws have DAN. Take that, Steinney-- we got Dan for 30 bucks and a peanut butter sammich.) And not to mention, we got The Chicks Who can Hit—Lauren and Lisa. Yay for estrogen!!

On defense, our pitcher- PRECISE (though sometimes known to have a mysterious hole in his glove ‘round the 5th inning)

Our infield – MEDIOCRE. (But we’re a work in progress!! The Yanks have Jeets at short. Ummm. And then, The Outlaws have DAN. It’s ok, Big D, not everyone can be a five-tool playah. And we think you’re much cuter than Jeter anyway, if that lessens the blow any.)

Our outfield- INFALLIBLE. (We have the flawless gloves of Eddie, Tim and Jon making spectacular grabs. And then there’s the tiny Asian in RF who can back-up the infield but can’t throw in a straight line to save her life. I really gotta stop drinking before the games …)

We are the champions, my friends.

On Sunday, March 29, 2009—we defeated Team Sweet Sassy Molasses and avenged last year’s loss with a V-I-C-T-O-R-Y adding another tick in the win column for our 4-0 record!

(*Sidebar) And by the way, I noticed jerkwad was sans red high-knee socks this go round. When it was his turn to high-five and good-game us, I also noted that HE was in the dugout fiddling through HIS bag for something just as I had done last year.

Well done, Outlaws. It’s still a long road to the Big Show, but then, at least we’re not Team Mendoza (0-4)!!!

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