This is how I know You're a Liar ...

So the subject of Amy Winehouse presented itself again Sunday night… and He mentioned how she’s got a "sexiness factor" in a schizophrenic, Paxil-addicted, alcoholic kind of way… to which I agreed...

And then was quick to inform Him that she came in at the Number Three position of Maxim’s list of "Unsexiest" Women for 2008.

Who else was on this list, He wanted to know.
I revealed Sarah Jessica Parker garnered the Number One spot to which he made a noise of disgust from deep beyond his nasal septum clearly signifying his consent to this sentiment.

I found this to be absolutely absurd and tried to argue on SJP’s behalf…
"Ok, so maybe she isn’t what people consider a "classic beauty" (whatever that is… could someone please tell me?) but she is not NOT sexy! Have you SEEN her body?"

To which the Baby Bird replied (and bless his heart…):
"Yeah, I have. And I like your body better."

Dry heaving yet? Yeah, I thought so.
Hmmmm. Suspect.

This ranks right up there with the time the Mullen boy said he would take ME over Angelina Jolie any day of the week. (Which isn’t saying much- the jury is still out on whether or not he’s gay). We’re talking Angelina Jolie here, people.

Are you kidding me? I would ravage that woman. She’s absolutely diabolical. And I like the beef, not fish—ifn’ you know what I’m sayin’…

I told Baby Bird he needed glasses.

And then I acted flattered while secretly laughing my ass off in my head.

They are such simple creatures. And I use the word creatures loosely…
So stupid. They actually think we don’t know.

And that’s how I know Baby Bird is a liar.